When things don't go your way

Appreciate that blessing in disguise

I have been longing for this day. I am going to meet my old school friends after a very long time. It was a pleasant December morning and we school mates have planned a day long get together at a nearby resort. In fact, my family members are all familiar with my friends family and whereabouts since it was my habit of narrating our teen life at school and college. Really, I used to feel that I had the best of my teen life as compared to my spouse or children. In fact, myself and family started preparing for this day quite some days back itself including our attire, cultural contributions, how build the network with the next generation etc. Personally I had a great picture about my close friends and their family, people who have landed in our small place from the best of cities like California, NewYork, Manchester, Tokyo and Sydney. What would they think of us when we see each other ? These are questions that are difficult to answer and I have already persuaded my family to be at our best to be during the get together.

We had to reach the resort by 1030 hrs and it is about an hour’s drive. It is already 0930 hrs and I was relieved because we could all make it inside the car by the planned time. As usual, I had to do my round of second round of check on the main door lock and I received my daily quota of advice from my spouse in this regard. I had the previous day cleaned up my not so old SUV and it was looking spick and span. Wow, everything fine. I fired the car ignition. To my surprise it was a dead response. I mentally reviewed the SOP for ignition and again repeated, but it failed this time also. Meanwhile, my spouse and children started the chorus on need for switching on AC inside the cabin. Multiple trials and I have no clue why my car is failing me. I had to decide on our shifting my ride to a small Maruti car primarily used by my spouse for shopping etc. It was not clean and in good shape however, this was not the time to think about it as I don’t have a choice. We got inside the small car and started for the much awaited function.

Half way through the journey, we crossed major intersections and roundabouts to a visible motorway with not much traffic. All through this time, I was cursing my great SUV for spoiling at least a part of my day. I also started scolding the family for what had happened even though I was pretty sure it was nobody’s fault. I was not hurrying up and as always I used to enjoy my driving these days with less speed and more talking. we were just overtaking a parked bus and surprise…I saw an youngster on his cycle just in front of my car. Never in my life I had the put the brakes for emergency stop. I could see that I had already hit the cycle and for a second I thought about a major disaster and its aftermath. To my surprise, I saw the youngster standing up and pushing the cycle to the side of the road. I got myself composed to face this grave situation and enquired about damage if any to both the person and the cycle. The fellow has grossly made the mistake of crossing the road from the front of a bus which is a total blind spot for an overtaking car. The youngster acknowledged that he himself was reason for this hit and that he and his cycle is perfectly okay. I couldn’t believe myself. It was a moment of anxiety, pain and grief since I have been also party to an accident which could have been catastrophic. I thanked god Almighty for saving all of us from such a situation.

Back inside my Maruti, I continued fuelling more fire to our preparations for this day and specifically, all these incidents including the accidents is due to our own problem. My daughter who many a time used to cool us off with her charming smile and anecdotes quoted a point which made me rethink about the happenings so far. She just mentioned that if we were travelling in our more heavy SUV as planned, it could have resulted in a major accident and definitely we would have missed the function itself.

True, I had to admit and realise that a silver lining in the otherwise negative mind was the very thought that a technical snag or operational issue of my SUV could help me escape a major accident. Had the SUV started perfectly okay and we encounter the same situation of youngster crossing the bus and the accident, yes it would have been catastrophic. When things don’t go as planned or things gets totally delayed, it could actually be a blessing in disguise. For example, a lost promotion may make you eligible for a foreign deputation which you have always dreamt of. The last chance of draw made you eligible to for the bumper prize in a raffle.

There are many such examples. Hence we need to appreciate our setbacks or lost opportunities. This phenomenon is subtly mentioned as `the burnt toast theory’. Not a great one but contains a few points to ponder (Courtesy: Thobani Ndlovu on Medium). It is mentioned as :

“If you burn your toast in the morning, the time you spend making another toast may have saved you from a car accident; or make you late to a meeting but you meet someone on the way that will become special in your life.” You may say that this sounds irrational yet many a times it helps you in not falling sad or getting depressed instead regain your positive thinking on life. A small failure or inconvenience may actually be saving you from a greater problem. In our lives, we have face many such situations and you have to be in the best of our minds to face that situation. Also believe, a positive mind with faith in God, your family and friends will always protect you from these accidents.

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

A burnt toast also represents that you have not been in the best of preparedness for a task. But not to worry, you should accept that imperfection too. If you can accept that, then your day is going to be okay and you quickly regain the best of yourself without cursing the burnt toast.

Also allow the burnt toast to teach you prepare toast for the next day with the right settings, right temperature and timing. Let it not spoil your moods and spirits for the whole day. Always remember, the burnt toast was a blessing in disguise and had saved you from a larger problem.

Regards

Ajith Kumar K